Blog

Last weekend I had the honor of watching my 2-year-old granddaughter opening birthday
presents while I snuggled her baby brother. I spent four days doing the Fedonczak boogie with
three daughters and two sons-in-law. The dance is one part goofiness, one part sizzling wit, two
parts love, and one part appreciation for who we are as a consequence of who we were.
All the family trips to far-away lands, rowdy sleepovers with friends (our record was 18 kids, 2
gallons of milk, 3 batches of pancakes, 2 lbs. of bacon, and 5 large pizzas, in no particular order
of consumption), boat rides, and pool parties are all baked into who we are as a family and how
we gather. The gatherings are different now because my kids are grown, but the hilarity, sass,
and love remain constant. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in our lives, or how difficult it is to
accomplish, we are better together.
In the last 9 years, I’ve witnessed that volleyball is another place where the “better together”
principle reigns. The teams are thrown together by a set of somewhat random circumstances,
as tryouts do not always turn out as expected. Once teams are formed, then how the coach
nurtures and fosters connection is just as important as skills development in how the team
grows and gels.
In volleyball, whoever the players are outside the gym heavily influences the team. But through
months of practice and travel, a new team develops. Some kind of alchemy takes over when a
team is connected to each other, and the collective skills are infinitely more wondrous than any
individual pass, set, or hit. The extent to which they can talk to each other, trust each other, and
risk their own comfort determines how they play. It’s not about the scoreboard or the trophies, or
the accolades, it’s about the feeling of being BETTER together!
In a world where face-to-face connection wanes, there’s nothing that compares to being in the
same place as the ones you care about. I am honored to have witnessed the ancient power of
connection at work with the girls I coach. But the most awe-inspiring example is at my family
gatherings, where I can see the little girls at play inside the hearts of my big girls. And now I can
watch it happen all over again with my grandbabies!
Even if we drive each other crazy sometimes, being in a group of loved ones who have the
same values and goals is the purest example of connection. As long as we’re together, we are
stronger in adversity and more generous in times of plenty. I will carry the memory of last
weekend with me as a reminder of how lucky I am to be their mom, until we dance again!
XO
Terri
P.S. Tell me how your family connects, and/or go here for life-coaching!